Bottomless Pit: The Edge of No Return
by hbkcenaortonaddict
Summary: Alexis was about to graduate college and become a successful lawyer, when tragedy strikes. Now, she faces the lowest point in your life and all she sees is emptiness - the emptiness of drugs, pill bottles, alcohol and her life.
1. The Breaking Point

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Alexis sighed a breath of relief and flung herself backwards onto her bed. She smiled to herself as she stared at the patterns on her ceiling. She was graduating college today after eight long years of law school. She knew this moment would come and she was ready to face life and it's many challenges as she became a lawyer in a very successful firm.

She peered upward as she heard the familiar sound of her old door creaking. She met the eyes of her mother's loving eyes and smiled. Her mother was proud of her and she knew it. Her and her father had only told her every day since she was accepted into law school. Her mother made her way over to her bed and took a seat beside of her.

"Ken will be here soon, but I wanted to give you something from your father and me. You know how proud of you we are of you, Lexi and we wanted to give you something special for your big day," her mother said, smiling down at her graduating daughter, as she held out a small box.

She took the white box from her mother and smiled at her. She fumbled with the tape concealing the box, never taking her eyes from her mothers. She continued to smile as she removed the small, square cotton strip from inside and removed a key ring with one key. She looked at her mother and smiled.

"Mom, is this for...," she started, a smile spreading further across her face.

"Why don't you go outside and look," her mother said, standing up and opening the door. Lexi stood and stared at her mother for a moment before flying down the stairs and opening the huge Victorian door. She gasped when she looked into the three-car garage.

There sat her dream car - a red 2007 Mitsubishi Eclipse. She squealed with delight before running over and collapsing upon her mother with gigantic hugs.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you," she screamed.

"I take it you like it," her mother replied, hugging her daughter in return.

"Of course, I do. This is the best present yet, Mom. Thank you," Lexi said, breaking from her mother and wiping a couple stray tears.

"You worked so hard for this. It's the least your father and I could do, sweetie," he mother replied.

Lexi skipped over to the vehicle and ran her fore finger smoothly down the side.

"So, Her Hotness finally got a car to match the personality," came a voice from behind her. She turned and saw her best friend, Ken Kennedy.

"That's right! What are you doing, stranger," she said, enveloping him in a hug.

"Came over to see if my favorite girl could give me a ride to her graduation," he said, smirking.

"Wait! I thought you had to miss it because you had a house show somewhere," she said, confused.

"Nope, they let me miss it because I told them that my best girl was graduating college and Vince gave me the go-ahead to attend it. Surprise," he said.

"Really? Oh, thank you, Kenny," she said, squealing all over again.

"So, is my surprise better," he asked, laughing.

"Don't get too full of yourself, you cocky bastard," she said, tapping him in the ribs.

"Ouch! Watch it," he said, rubbing his side. "You know, I do get beat up enough on the road!"

"Oh, shut up and get in," she said, opening the driver's side door and sliding in. She smoothed her hands over the steering wheel as he slid in beside her.

"Where we going," he asked.

"Well, I can't go anywhere right yet. I have to get ready for graduation, silly," she said.

"So, we got in the car for what reason then," he asked.

"Just to sit in it," she replied, checking out the CD player and the controls.

"Well, go get ready. I'll meet you back here in about an hour," he said, opening the door again. She slid out of her new car and walked towards the front. Ken followed her and smiled.

"Nice headlights," he said, smirking.

"Very funny. Go get ready," she said, smacking him playfully.

"Alright, alright. I'm going," he said, waving to her as he exited out the back door of the garage. She smiled to herself and touched the car once more before heading upstairs to fix her hair and make-up.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Shit, I've gotta hurry," Lexi said, rushing around trying to find her other sling back.

"Looking for this," said a voice from the door way. She looked up and smiled seeing her father holding up her silver strap heel.

"Daddy! I thought you were gonna be late," she said, grabbing the shoe and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Now would I miss the big day for anything," he asked, giving his daughter a warm smile.

"You better not," she replied, shaking her shoe in his direction.

"So, how did you like the...," he started before Lexi smiled brightly and cut him off.

"My car?!?! I love it, Daddy! Thank you," she said, hugging him again.

"I knew you would. Why don't you and Ken go in your new car and mom and I will meet you at the school," he asked.

"Alright. Remember, it starts at 8:00," she said.

"I remember. Finish getting ready and I'll see you downstairs," he said, turning around and walking down the hallway.

Lexi finished applying her make-up and flew down the stairs. She grabbed her purse and cell phone before planting a kiss on her mother and father's cheeks.

"I'll see you guys there," she said, heading for the door.

"Not so fast," her mother yelled, grabbing the digital camera.

"Oh, come on Mom! I'm gonna be late," she said.

"No, Lex! I need some pictures of you with your parents! Now it isn't gonna kill you," her mother said, handing the camera to Ken, who had just walked through the door.

They situated themselves in front of their family crest as Ken snapped a few pictures.

"Am I ready now," Lexi asked impatiently.

"I need a couple of you and Ken and then you can leave," her mother said, taking the camera from Ken. Ken grabbed her waist as they posed for a few more still shots.

"Ready now," she asked.

"Yeah, you can go now. We'll see you there," her father said, as she headed out the door.

"Love you guys," she yelled as she made her way to her new car.

_________________________________________________________________________________

"Where are they," she asked, as she paced outside the walk way.

She had called them just 25 minutes earlier to remind them to bring her cap and gown. She had forgot them on her way out and knew the drive from her parents house to the school was only a 5 minute drive. It was now nearly 8:00 and she was beginning to worry as her parents were never late for anything, especially something so huge.

"They'll be here, sweetie. Just calm down," Ken said, rubbing her shoulder trying to reassure her.

She continued to pace the sidewalk, peering out into the street hoping her parents car would pull in at any minute. She heard the band beginning to play and was conflicted whether to go inside and join the rest of her classmates or remain outside and wait for her parents.

She had decided to go inside when she heard sirens in the distance. For some reason, her blood turned cold and she lost her footing. Ken caught her and glared into her eyes.

"Are you alright," he asked.

"Ye-yeah," she managed to get out.

She broke from the hold and glared into the street as she saw 2 police cruisers speed into the college campus and come to a screeching halt in front of her and Ken.

"Do you know an Alexis Barrows," the female officer asked.

"Um, yeah. That's me," she replied, feeling shaky all over again.

"You're gonna have to come with me, Miss," she replied, opening the back of the police car.

"May I ask what this is about," Lexi asked.

"I'll tell you more once we get moving. Right now, I'm gonna have to ask you to come with me," she stated again.

"Can my friend come along or am I in trouble," Alexis asked, walking towards the car.

"No, Miss, you're not in trouble. If you insist, he may come," she said, ushering them both inside the car.

That night was the longest, coldest and saddest night of her life. On the way to her college graduation, her parents were side-swipped by a tractor-trailer and were careened off the road, both perishing instantly. Lexi was in a state of shock, not knowing where to go and where to turn to. She had no siblings - the closest thing she had to a brother or sister was Ken, who would be leaving her in two days. He had to travel to Dallas, Texas for an appearance on Raw. While he was still sidelined from an injury, he was asked to attend the show. After he left, she wasn't sure what she would or who to turn to. She felt cold, desperate, empty.

For the first time in her life, she mostly felt alone.


	2. Final Goodbyes

She stared out the window as the scenery passed her by in a blur. She was unaware of the wet moisture dripping from her eyes, but the days that followed the tragic accident, she couldn't remember a single dry moment of clarity. She had been dreading this day and knew everyone would say pretty much the same thing. She knew she had to suck it as best she could and continue on with her life.

"Um, Lexi, were here. You ready," said the voice from beside her. She dried her eyes and removed herself from her envisions and thoughts before returning to reality and looking at Ken.

"Yeah, I suppose it's now or never," she answered, straightening her dress and managing a weak smile.

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna leave your side. Vince gave me a couple extra days off, so I'm gonna make sure your settled and managing before I even attempt in leaving," he said, brushing the hair from her shoulder.

She shook her head almost robotic before reaching for the door handle to face the cold, hard truth. In a few moments, they had made their way to the grave site as she looked down at the now up-heveled ground before her. The hearse had pulled up and the pallbearers were bringing the caskets forward. She inhaled deeply, holding it in, almost afraid to breath out. She dropped her head and turned as the tears stung the back of her eyes. Ken made his way closer to her and embraced his fragile friend.

"It's alright. I'll help you through this," he whispered in her ear. She continued to cry softly as she buried her face into his chest and sobbed uncontrollably. He held her tighter, flush against his own and rocked her back and forth as the caskets was being loaded on the machine for her parents' final rest. She dug her nails into his back as she sobbed harder and harder. He stroked her hair gently and placed a small kiss on top of her head. She pulled away as more guest came to pay their final respects to the people she simply called "Mom" and "Dad."

She had managed to wipe her eyes and somewhat recompose herself, but she still looked like death warmed over. She felt like the 50-ton truck had hit her. Her insides were aching with more pain then she could ever remember enduring.

"Alexis, how are you doing, sweetie," said a female voice from behind her. She wiped around rather quickly, almost losing her balance and stared at the familiar face of her aunt - her mother's sister. It was in that moment when their eyes locked she saw the soft features of her mother - the same shape of the eyes, the same midnight blue color and the same cheek bone structure. The only joy she got out of the entire funeral was seeing her Aunt Lissa since she had not seen her since Christmas of the previous year.

She finally found her voice and managed to speak. "I'm here," she said, stumbling on her own words. She continued to look into her relatives eyes, remembering her mother looking down at her when she was a little girl, when she went on to high school, when she graduated high school, when she went to college and then the night she was to graduate from law school - the night the accident happened and neither one of her parents had actually saw her receive her diploma.

In reality, neither had she had the experience of walking on the stage in front of her fellow classmates and peers to receive the 8-years of anticipation, dedication and hard work - her diploma. She wasn't bitter about it. It would come in the mail eventually, but she was battling with so much anger, rage, sadness and emptiness inside, she wasn't sure what emotion or feeling would hit her next.

"If you need anything, please give me a call, sweetie. You know that your Uncle Danny and I would be there in a heartbeat," she replied, reaching for her niece. They embraced for a moment as Ken looked on and smiled to himself. He knew she would need family, friends and as much moral support right now as humanly possible.

He, above everyone else, was the closest person in her life, besides her parents. She told him everything, ever since they were young children playing in his backyard and catching lightning bugs. He loved her deeply, a feeling that started sometime around high school, but never dared telling her in fear of the losing the awesome friendship they shared. He was more aware of his feelings once he was signed to the WWE and knew he couldn't be there for her as much as she might want him to be. Now that her parents died, he really wanted to take some more time off, putting his injured arm aside and take care of his friend.

"I'll be fine, Aunt Lissa. Ken is staying with me for a few days before he has to head down the road. It's gonna be rough, but we all will get through it. How are you," Lexi asked, compassion reading on her face.

"Well, I'm hanging in there. Some days are better than others, but I just think this is some awful dream," she answered, searching her nieces eyes for some clue as to how she was really holding up. She saw the pain written all over her, but she had her guard up and never was the type to show her true emotions until she was behind closed doors.

The minister arrived and called everyone together. Lexi took a seat up front as Ken made his way directly behind her chair. Her aunt sat on one side of her as the minister being reading a passage from the Bible.

After the reading, everyone stood to adorn the caskets with roses and flowers. Lexi continued to sit until the last person said their final goodbyes and everyone made their way back to their cars, to go back to their every day lives of exsistance. She didn't know if she could go on with her normal life.

_What is normal_, she thought. _Where do I go from here?_

She made her way to the head of the cherry oak boxes and placed a hand on both caskets. She closed her eyes for a moment as the tears were coming fast and burning her eyes. She couldn't hold them back as she began crying and fell to her knees. Ken came beside her and placed his hands under her arms to help her back to a standing position. She collapsed in his arms as her parents were lowered for their final resting place. She shook uncontrollably with each passing tear that feel heavily down her cheeks. Ken ushered her to the car as the men continued to do their work of throwing the earth back in place over her parents eternal coffins.

He helped her inside and drove away from the graveyard as quickly as possible, being careful of the procession that was still congesting the entrance. She looked out the back window at the place where her parents lie as the tears came quicker and quicker. She let out a painful wail as they pulled out onto the highway and closer towards her house.

Her house. Her parents house. How was she going to continue living there after what happened? How was she going to move on when so many memories were surrounded inside those walls?

She knew deep inside that this was the day her life turned grey and her smile faded.


	3. The Start of Something New

As she made her way slowly into the house, she looked around and realized, for the first time in years, she heard absolutely nothing. The thought of a quiet house shook her insides with fear creeping quickly inside her. She shuttered at the feeling but continued into the family room. Her eyes instantly feel upon the fireplace mantle in which pictures of her and her parents comfortably sat. She took a huge breath in and made her way over to the photos and lay each one face down. The thought of looking at them after the accident was too much for her to bare. She loved her parents, but she didn't want to think of the reality of things.

She made her way into the kitchen and grabbed the key for the liquor cabinet. She unlocked the heavy chained doors and grabbed the nearest bottle up front.

"Lexi, that's not going to help," Ken said, stepping beside her.

He was trying to be her voice of reason, which was clearly not helping. She closed her eyes and tried ignoring his words that wouldn't go away.

"Look, I've had a really rough week. If you want to help me, then you can stay up with my tonight and have a couple drinks with me. I just want to take the tension away," she answered, before opening her eyes and looking into the crystal blue pools she had came to be so fond of.

"I'm sorry. I understand completely. I just don't want you doing anything to harm yourself," he answered softly, taking her hand and playing with the silver band on her fore finger.

"I know, Ken and I appreciate that, but tonight, I really need this. I just want to forget everything, even if it is just for a couple hours," she said, squeezing his hand before taking hers back. She slid the bottle onto the counter and stared at it for a minute in a state of confusion.

"Well, do you even have any idea as to what you are drinking," he asked, smiling lightly.

She peered at the bottle and for the first time in a week, a smiled pressed across her face. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"No, I have no idea. Mind telling me if I should mix it or can I take it straight," she said laughing.

"It's good to see you smile again. Listen, you go in and kick your shoes off and relax on the couch. I'll bring you a drink in a few minutes," he said taking the bottle from her.

She did as he told her as she kicked her shoes off and laid back against the head rest on the side of the couch. She closed her eyes and for the first time in days, realized she was actually tired. She sighed when she heard footsteps coming from behind her and sat up, propping herself up on her elbows and drawing her knees in towards her chest.

"Here, try this," Ken said, handing her a glass with a cream colored mixture.

"What is it," she asked, as she shook the glass slowly, mixing the ice with the contents and smelled it.

"Do you trust me," he asked, taking a seat near her feet.

"Of course, I trust you silly," she shot back at him, throwing the cup back and gulping it down. She wiped her lip after the drink was finished and exhaled.

"Not bad, Mr. Kennedy," she said, nudging his shoulder.

"You feeling better," he asked, taking a drink from his own glass.

"Yeah, I am. I'm just glad your staying for a few more days," she replied, smiling. She looked around the spacious living space and smiled. "You know I remember when my dad used to read stories to me in front of the fireplace in the chair right there."

She smiled at the memory before she felting tears stinging the back of her eyes again. She closed her eyes to fight them off, but she felt her cheeks getting wet. She opened her eyes and smiled at Ken.

"I'm sorry that I might not be the best of company for you," she said.

"Don't you worry about it. I'm here for you and no other reason," he replied, as he reached out for her and held her closely. "If you need to cry, I'm here. If you want a drinking buddy, I'm here. Hell, if you want a sex partner, I'm here," he chuckled to himself.

She laughed as she pulled away and dried her eyes. She felt a little better knowing he was here with her. It made the house seem that much more livable. She wasn't sure how she would manage once he left, but she couldn't think about that right now. She laid her head down on his lap as he flipped the television on. He gently stroked her hair until her breathing slowed down. He knew she had fallen asleep. He decided to close his own eyes for he didn't know how much sleep he would be getting over the next few days.

She awoke a few hours later to the dimly lit living room. She stood up and stretched as she made her way to the bathroom. The pain she felt inside was becoming more and more unbearable and she didn't know what she could do to ease it. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She hardly knew the girl staring back at her. A little over a week before, she was young and full of life, awaiting her college graduation and a trip to Hawaii with some classmates. Now, she was a frail fragment of what she used to be, just a short time ago.

She opened the medicine cabinet and saw the brown plastic bottle staring back at her. She remembered her father taking the Vicodin for his back when he had had surgery on it only 2 months before. She grabbed the bottle and read the label. She tapped her finger on the sink, debating on her next move.

Against her better judgment, she popped the cap and poured 3 small, white pills into her hand. She downed the pills and closed her eyes slowly. She wasn't sure what the effects would be or how soon it would hit, but she waited anxiously for the pain to subside.

She walked out of the bathroom with the pill bottle into her back pocket. She made her way back over to the couch and grabbed her shoes before walking out on the back patio for some fresh air. The cool, April air hit her shoulders immediately and made her shiver. She walked over to the swing and glided back and forth for a while, staring at the stars and thinking of her parents.

"Why did you have to leave me," she asked, as the tears filled her eyes again. She pulled her knees to her chest and placed her head in her knees. She let the tears come naturally as the night air blew around her. She continued to sob until she felt an arm go around her waist and felt the heat from Ken. She laid in his chest for a long time, just letting the tears fall without hesitation. She needed this and she knew it. He didn't say anything. He held her close and let her cry as he rocked her easily on the wooden swing.

Before long, she felt the pills take effect and she stopped crying. She looked up and wiped her eyes, which were puffy and swollen from her bout of crying. She shivered a little as she moved closer to him.

"You wanna go inside and get ready for bed," he asked.

She shook her head slowly and stood as he helped her inside and lead her up to her bedroom. She moved towards her bathroom as he pulled out a pajama set for her. She pulled them on and made her way back out into her bedroom.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow. You get some rest," he said, opening her bedroom door.

"Ken, could you um, maybe stay in her tonight," she asked, uneasily. He looked around the room and smiled lightly.

"Sure, sweetie. Where you want me," he asked, opening his arms and smiling brightly.

"We've shared the same bed before, what's so different now," she asked.

"We were 5, Lexi," he said, stunned at her answer.

"I know, but it's not like we're doing anything. I just don't wanna be alone, Ken. If it's too much to ask for, I understand, but I really could use my best friend tonight," she said, pulling the covers back and fluffing the pillows.

"I know. It was insensitive of me to be so forward. I'm sorry," he said, strolling over to the opposite side of the bed. He slid his shirt off and grabbed his bag that he had left in her room earlier. He went into the bathroom and pulled his basketball shorts on before making his way back to the bed. She was sitting up, staring at something off in space.

"Are you alright, Lex," he asked, slipping in beside her.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine, Ken," she said, faking a small smile.

"Alright, just you seemed somewhere else just now," he said, laying down. She slipped down beneath the cool sheets and stared at the ceiling for a moment. She felt his warm body inches from hers and it instantly gave her chills. It was true they used to camp out in each others years when they were younger and even shared the same bed during sleepovers, but they hadn't slept together since they were 10 and a new feeling crept inside her. One she wasn't fully aware of before then.

She was falling for her best friend.


	4. A Welcoming Feeling

She watched as he packed the last few belongings in his bags and zipped the sides. He stood and placed his hands on his hips as he looked around the bedroom, making sure not to forget anything. She managed a weak smile, feeling the emptiness kick in all over again.

Ever since he had been with her, she had felt safe and protected and he helped keep her mind off the sinking realization of her parents death. She knew once he left, she would have to continue her normal life, whatever that was, and face the truth that her parents were gone and never coming back. She had managed to hold the tears back on several occasions, but the thought of him leaving and having to stay in the empty Victorian-style home by herself was creating an earthquake inside of her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stood up, making her way over to give her friend a hug.

"Your plane leaves at 7, right," she asked, as she buried her face into his chest.

"Yeah. It's already 5:30, so I should be getting my bags into the car and getting ready to head out of here," he answered, smugly.

She released her grip and stepped back a little, never letting her eyes trail to far from his. He reached down, collecting his bag and threw it over his shoulder. She locked eyes with him once more and quickly looked away as she felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes.

"Well, you better get going," she finally said, still staring at the pattern on the floor.

"Why don't you walk me out," he suggested, as he held her bedroom door open for her.

She walked out and made her way outside to the car port where his car was parked beside her own. He threw his bag into the backseat and his keys on the drivers seat.

"You know, you can come on the road with me for a little while. I could use the company anyway," he said, smiling at her.

"I know, but I have some things I have to take care of back here. Thanks for the offer, and I would love to, but with everything that just happened, my place is here for now," she answered softly, looking back down at the concrete covered flooring in the garage.

"I know, just thought I would ask. You know I'll be back next week and if you need anything, just call, alright," he said, cupping her face in his hands, forcing her to stare at him. Her heart jumped a little and her cheeks got warm.

"I know, Ken. I'll call ya, you know that," she answered. She felt him move closer to her and her breath was lost in her throat. She felt him lean in as she closed her eyes. His lips touched her gently, taking over any emotion she had once felt and replacing it with heat, passion and happiness. She brought her closer to him, never breaking the kiss, only deepening it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and found her hands wrestling throughout his short, blond locks.

They parted after a minute and he placed his forehead to hers, smiling. She finally caught her breath again, not realizing she was holding it for so long. Her heart was racing as she looked into his blue eyes and smiled.

"You know, I've been fighting to do that since high school," he said, laughing.

"You have? And what took you so long," she asked, grabbing his hands and moving closer to his chest.

"I don't know. Fear, maybe. I just didn't want to ruin our friendship, but I couldn't fight it no more," he answered softly.

"I'm glad you did it, Ken. I didn't realize it either until now that I've looked at you in a different light for quite some time now, too," she said, snuggling closer to his chest.

They held each other for a moment, as she closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. He rested his cheek on her head as he held her close, not wanting to let go.

"You better get going," she said, finally breaking the hold.

"Yeah, I've gotta get to the airport before my plane leaves. I doubt the boss man would approve of me being late," he answered, lightly.

"I know, but I'll call you tonight and I'll see you sometime next week," she said, stepping back a little and placing her hands in her hip pockets.

"Yeah, I'll give ya a call and let you know when I get back into town," he answered, opening his car door.

She shook her head not wanting to look at him leave. She knew he would be back, but a week was so far away and she couldn't bare being alone.

He stepped forward and kissed her once more, gently. She stepped forward, pushing him against the car and wrapping her arms around him again. She deepened the kiss and felt his tongue teasing her lips. She allowed him entrance as he place his hands around her bottom and held her even tighter. They broke apart and he kissed her forehead.

"I'll call ya," he said, sliding into the car.

She closed the door as he fastened his seatbelt and fired the engine up.

"Please be careful," she said, tears forming in her eyes and slipping down her cheeks.

"I will, sweet pea. Don't worry, alright. How about if I call you when I reach the airport before I board the plane," he asked gently.

"Yeah, please," she answered, wiping the wetness from her cheeks.

"I will, Lexi. Don't worry alright. I'm not going anywhere," he said.

She shook her head as she strolled to the back of the car and onto the lawn. He pulled out and waved to her before pulling into the highway and speeding down the street.

She sighed as she went back into the house and looked around. She was truly alone now and didn't like the feelings creeping inside of her. She made her way to the bathroom and took the brown bottle of her father's from the medicine cabinet. She slipped four pills slowly into her mouth and swallowed them. She knew they would take the edge off and anything that helped her, even for a few hours, was inviting.

She laid back on the couch, waiting for the drugs to take effect as she grabbed her cell phone and placed it on her lap.

She watched the TV until the welcoming calm settled within her body and the pain subsided more and more. She was feeling better by the minute and liked the reality of the pills.

She knew the bottle would be empty soon, as she had been taking them like candy even while Ken was there with her. She wrestled with the thought of where to get more from until she thought of a name.

She picked up the phone and called an old friend from high school she hadn't talked to forever.

"Drew, can you do me a favor," she asked.

"Lexi, what is it. You know I'd do anything for you," he answered.

"Who's that guy that you used to get your drugs off of? Can he get me some Vicodin or anything," she asked slowly, feeling guilty.

"Yeah, but why do you need it," he asked.

"It doesn't matter. I need them," she said, almost shouting.

"Sure, I'll contact him and call you back," he said, hanging up.

She sighed and closed her eyes. She managed to score some more pills and felt the guilt slowly sinking away.

She knew they would help and anything that took the pain away, she welcomed with open arms.


	5. The Drug Takes Over

Drew had came over and dropped her off some Vicodin. She didn't imagine the pills would cost that much, but at the same time, she knew they were the only thing that took the pain away, especially since she was all alone in her parents' big house.

She placed the pills at the bottom of her panty drawer as she laid down on her bed. Ken had called her and said he had made it to the airport safely but he had to end the call abruptly since he was boarding the plane.

She would see him in a week and couldn't wait, but she knew the secret she held she couldn't tell anyone, especially Ken. She had feelings of guilt as it were, but the pills made her calm, relaxed and she felt no hurt after taking them.

She closed her eyes and settled into a deep sleep.

She woke the next more with the sun shining on her face. She groaned and rolled out of bed. She grabbed her supply and took a few more pills before placing them safely back into her drawer and grabbing some clothes for a quick shower.

The warm water hit her body and relaxed every tense muscle. The water felt good but she had to get out to settle a few things for her parents' estate. The lawyers would be coming soon and she wanted to get her parents' things settled so she could move on with her life and maybe not feel any more pain without taking a sedative to release it.

Her cell phone rang as she jumped out of the shower and ran to get it.

"Hello," she answered.

"Hey beautiful," came the voice from the other end.

"Hey, Ken. Where are you," she asked.

"Oh, we're in Birmingham right now. We're leaving here tonight for a house show and then flying to Dallas. We have a tour to do in Texas and then I should be home for about a week before I have to return again," he answered.

"How long is your tour," she asked, as she slipped her panties and bra on, holding the phone in her cheek.

"Well, we have to hit Dallas, Houston, Fort Worth, Corpus Christi and San Antonio over a 3 day stretch. I have some autograph signings, but that's all I'm doing," he answered.

"Oh. Well, that sounds like fun," she said, wishing she were with him instead of having to meet with lawyers and insurance agents later in the day.

"Yeah, it should be but I can't wait to see you again," he said.

"I know, me either. I wish I were with you," she said, softly as she slipped her jeans and shirt on.

"Well, we'll see each other soon enough, honey," he said.

"Alright. Well, listen I'm meeting with those lawyers today, so I'm gonna get off here, but I'll call you later," she said.

"Alright sweetie. Hang in there and call me if you need anything," he said.

"I will. Be good," she said, laughing lightly.

"You too. Bye," he said, before the line went dead. She threw her cell phone back on the bed as she retrieved her socks and shoes from a nearby chair. She went over to her dresser and grabbed her supply of medication before flying down the stairs and grabbing a bagel for breakfast.

____________________________________________________________

The lawyers and agents came and gone and the tough part was over with. She managed to hold her tears back while they were there, but felt so empty inside. She took five more pills and the effects were definitely kicking in. She felt the best she had in weeks as she roamed outside with a Jack Daniels bottle, swigging it heavily.

"Who says you can't mix pills with alcohol? I feel fine," she blurted out loud.

She dipped her feet into the pool and sat on the cold pavement, taking another drink from her nearly empty bottle. She laid her head back and stared at the stars for a long time, thinking of her parents and Ken. She didn't feel any pain, but at the same time, it was helping her to think about her parents. She felt maybe she was finally healing.

She stood up, but as she did she slipped and feel into the pool. She came up gasping for air and reached the side as she flipped her light, wet body up onto the side. She caught her breath and couched out some water looking at the Jack bottle floating nearby. She let out a roar of laughter as she stood and stumbled back into the house to get some dry clothes on and find her bed.

She slipped under the sheets, her body shivering from the coldness of the water. She heard her cell phone ringing as she leaned forward and grabbed it off the night stand by her bed.

"He-hello," she said, half shivering and half slurring her speech.

"Lexi," the voice asked.

"Oh, hey Ke-Ken," she said, stammering on her words.

"Lex, are you alright? Are you drunk," he asked.

"Well, something li-like th-that," she said, laughing.

"Where are you," he asked.

"I'm in bed," she answered.

"Oh, alright. Just stay there alright. Don't go out and drive around or anything," he warned.

"Oh, alright Daddy," she said, slurring her speech even more. The tears started welling in her eyes as soon as the word slipped from her mouth.

"Are you sure your alright," he asked again.

"Ken, I'm gon-gonna be juss fi-fine," she said, through tears and yet still stammering on her words.

"Alright, well if you're sure, just get some sleep tonight and I'll call you in the morning, alright," he said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said, slamming the phone shut. She looked at the phone for another minute and rolled her eyes.

"I am 26 years old and if I wanna get drunk, I will," she said aloud, talking to the phone. She through it across the room, shut off her lamp and fell fast asleep.


	6. The Lies Begin With a Truth

She woke up the next morning with a headache slamming against her temples. She shuttered from the lighting streaming through her blinds as she through the covers further above her head. She felt sick to her stomach but didn't dare to move in fear that she would lose whatever was left in her stomach from the day before. She groaned loudly as she heard her cell phone go off from somewhere nearby. She waved it off and covered her head further underneath her pillow. The ringing eventually stopped and she smiled.

"Thank God," she said aloud.

No sooner than she had the words out of her mouth, she heard it ringing again. She jumped to her feet and looked on the floor for her phone.

"Where the hell is...," she started before eying it resting on a pile of clothes. She picked it up unaware of how it had got there and opened the cover quickly.

"What," she screamed in the mouthpiece.

"Good morning, sunshine," Ken said from the other end.

"What do you want," she muttered, heading into the bathroom and immediately grabbing her tooth brush.

"I was checking on you. Sounds like you have a hangover," he said, amusement rising in his voice.

"Well, I'm glad you are just so happy," she said, as she spit some water and toothpaste out.

"I was just calling to check up on you. Are you feeling alright besides the hang over," he asked, clearly worried for her.

"Yeah, I suppose, given the circumstances. Look, I'm sorry I'm being just an ass this morning...," she started before spitting more water out.

"It's alright. You don't need to explain. I understand, just please try and take care of yourself," he said, sounding even more worried.

"I will Ken. I don't have any appointments today, but I do have to go to the grocery store later. Other than that, I'll be resting for most of the day," she answered, wiping her mouth on a nearby towel.

"Alright, well, we are about to board the next plane, but I'll call you later on tonight after the house show or something, alright," he said.

"Yeah, Ken. I'll talk to you later then," she said, sounding upset.

"You sure you're alright," he asked again.

"Yeah, baby. I'll be fine," she answered, sweetly, forcing a fake smile.

"Alright, sweetie. Talk to you later," he said, hanging up on his end.

She shut her phone and went to get her clothes changed. As she was doing so, she stopped to get a few pills out of her top drawer. She took five more of them and dumped the rest on her dresser counting them.

"25," she said silently.

She shrugged her shoulders and placed the pills back into their bottle and put them back into her top dresser drawer. She grabbed her clothes and headed for the shower.

After showering and changing, she decided to head to the market. The pills had kicked in and she was feeling rather good, considering her drinking binge the night before, but she didn't have any pain. When she took them, she felt nothing. The pain subsided for six hours and she could actually function. Drew had given her 50 pills when he visited, but she knew she would be needing more before Ken got back. She decided to call him on her way to the store. She picked her phone up and instantly dropped it on the opposite floor board. She reached down to get it, taking her eyes off the road for a moment. She retrieved the phone and sat up straight and as she did, she saw she was on the opposite lane, heading straight for a tractor trailer.

She swerved off the road onto the shoulder, barely missing the speeding semi and came to a halt. Her insides were shaking and the tears began falling from her face. She stepped from the car and leaned against the door, visibly shaken. It took her a few minutes to compose herself and as she did, she jumped back into the car and popped six more pills into her mouth. She knew she wouldn't feel anything for half an hour or so, but she need it, just to take the edge off.

She pulled back onto the highway and quickly made it to Drew's house on the other side of town. She knocked on the door and Drew opened the door, appearing to be on his way out.

"Hey, Lexi. Whatcha need," he asked, fumbling with his car keys.

"I need more," she replied seriously.

"Um, alright. How many," he asked, walking towards his own car.

"The same amount, I guess. Can you get more," she asked.

Drew stopped and looked at his friend. He saw she was shaking slightly and had an idea that it was her taking them. He thought before that she was getting them for a friend or someone she knew, but he had a faint clue as to who they were for now.

"Are these for you," he asked.

"What if I say yes. Will you still get them for me," she asked.

"I suppose. Just wondering, I guess," he said.

"Then, yeah, there for me," she answered.

"Why do you need them," he asked, shifting his weight on his other foot.

"It doesn't matter why I need them. Mind your own damn business," she snapped.

"Alright, alright," he said, holding his hands up.

"So will you get them then," she asked.

"Just be careful and make sure you know why you're taking them. It is for a good reason, right," he asked.

"Yea, of course, Drew," she said, smiling sweetly.

"Alright then. I'll meet you at your place around 3," he answered.

"Alright, see ya then," she said, jumping into her car and peeling from the driveway.

The ride to the market was short, as Drew lived right down the street from the grocery store her family had frequented regularly.

She grabbed the few things she knew she was in desperate need of and grabbed something for dinner for herself for that night. As she made her way back into the car, she felt the other six pills taking effect. She had never felt this incoherent before, not even the night before.

She shook her head, trying to shake the feeling off, and slipped into the drivers seat of the car. She wasn't feeling any pain, which was the job at hand, but at the same time she enjoyed the ultimate feeling the substance gave her as well.

She drove back to her house and parked her car into the garage and hopped out, grabbing her purchases from the grocery store and made her way inside. She looked at the clock and saw it was nearly 3 and wanted to get the groceries put away before Drew stopped by.

There came a knock on the door as she put the last box on the pantry shelf and she hurried to answer it.

"Ken, what are you doing here," she asked, throwing her arms around him. She felt the warmth from his body immediately and her heart skipped a beat as he lifted her up and hugged her tightly.

"I missed you too, sweetie," he said, setting her down and looking at her.

"What are you doing here," she asked again, stepping back so he could enter the house.

"I don't have to be at the next show until the Texas Tour so I decided to come back here for two days and then just head out from here," he answered setting his bag down and grabbing her again. They hugged from another few minutes and then parted. He leaned forward about the kiss her. She felt his breath on her neck and it sent chills up and down her spine. She felt him coming close when there came a knock on the door.

"Who could that be," Ken asked as he made his way into the living room.

"Oh, just an old friend of mine from school," she replied, answering the door and feeling the sweat coming to her brow. She opened the door and looked at Drew standing on the stoop outside.

"I thought these were for you," he said, handing her a small brown bag.

"They are," she whispered, holding her fore finger up to her lip, signaling him to whisper.

"OK, then whose here," he asked, whispering this time.

"Ken, now hush," she said handing him the two hundred dollars.

"Oh," he said, smiling.

"Drew," came a voice from behind her.

She leaned against the door and shoved the bag behind her back, smiling sweetly.

"Yeah, you remember him," she said, feeling sweaty all over again.

"Yeah, but what's he doing here," Ken asking, raising his brow.

"Oh, I saw him in the supermarket earlier and told him to stop by sometime. He heard about my parents and well...," she said, trailing off.

"Yeah, I just stopped by to check on her," he answered, looking back at his car.

"Oh, cool. How ya doing man," Ken asked, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms across his chest.

"Good, can't complain. Listen, Lexi, I'll catch ya later. I'm suppose to be somewhere around 4, so if you need me call," he said, waving good-bye and making a bee-line for his vehicle.

She shut the door, trying to conceal the brown bag from Ken.

"What's that," he asked eying the bag.

"Oh, something he picked up from the store for me," she answered.

"I thought you went to the store today," he said, questioning her.

"Yeah, I did, but I forgot something and told him to pick this up," she said.

"Oh, alright," Ken said again, shaking his head but not believing her. She stared walking towards the bathroom.

"What are you hiding from me. Are you seeing him or something," he asked, following her.

"No, Ken. Of course not. Honestly, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss we shared the other day. Why would I want to go and see someone else," she asked, turning around.

"Then what's in here," he asked, snatching the bag from her.

"Ken, don't," she said, moving forward towards the bag. He moved it from her reach and opened it, displaying the small white, oval pills.

"Lexi, what, why," he started.

"Ken, just let me explain," she started.

"Why? You're not," he said, trailing off.

She looked down at her feet, not saying a word.

"Lexi, please tell me you're not..," he started again, but his words were cut short and he couldn't finish.

"I need them," she replied softy not looking up.

"Why," he asked.

"Because they are the only thing taking the pain away and if I didn't have them, I don't know how I would deal with this situation," she replied, the tears forming in her eyes even more.

"Lexi, I understand all of that, but you can do this. We can do this. That is what I'm here for. It only stops the pain for a short time and then you have to take more. If you do this and continue doing this, you're never going to cope and deal with your parents' death. Lexi, your parents are dead. There's no other way to sugar-coat that," he said, moving towards her.

"You don't think I don't know that. They were my parents. I lost them. I know what the hell I'm doing," she said, grabbing the bag.

"Lexi, please just stop taking them. We'll get through this together. Just trust me, please. You always have before," he said.

"I know Ken. Maybe you're right," she said, moving into the bathroom and closing the door. She grabbed three more pills and slammed them down her throat. She hid the bag underneath some linens in the linen closet and walked back out.

"So, what did you do," he asked.

"I put them in the bathroom. I'm gonna decide what to do later. Right now, your here and I wanna spend time with you," she said, moving closer to him.

He started to say something but instead, her lips came crashing down on his. She pushed him against the wall and intensified the kiss, letting her hand tangle in his hair. He kissed her back and positioned her against him as he flipped her against the wall, deepening the kiss even more. He heard her moan softly and he smiled, kissing her neck. She pulled apart from him and stared into his eyes.

"You're right," she said softly. He shook his head, not knowing what she was truly going through.

"Flush them," she said in a whisper. He shook his head again and instead of asking where they were he made his way into the bathroom and searched for them. He knew she had been dealing with a lot and wasn't sure how to help her overcome a pill addiction. He wasn't even aware she was even on them and he didn't know for how long.

He found them under a couple towels in the closet and poured the pain killers in the toilet and flushed them before giving it a second thought. He tossed the bag into the closet and walked back over to Lexi.

"Are you alright," he asked her softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

She shook her head and looked up at him.

"I am now," she answered, kissing him lightly.

"Well, if you don't mind I'm gonna go take a nap. I'm really jet lagged," he said, grabbing his bag.

"I'll come with ya. I'm beat myself," she said, following him up the stairs.

He through his bag down as the both slipped beneath the cool sheets. She laid in the crock of his arm as he held her tightly.

"How long have you been taking them," he asked.

"Ever since the day of the funeral," she answered.

"So, you're not really addicted to them," he said, sounding relieved.

"I guess not," she answered lightly, nuzzling closer to his neck.

He kissed the top of her forehead and settled himself in, resting his head on the top of her head. She played with the lining of his shirt as she heard his breathing becoming more slow. She looked up at him and smiled. She rubbed the side of his face as she planted a sweet, gentle kiss on his lips and lay her head down. Her lips were inches from his ear.

She spoke softly in his ear as his chest steadily rose and fell. The only moment of clarity she had since Ken had left happened when she spoke the words to him that she had longed the say to him for many years.

"I love you."


	7. The Truth Is Heard

Ken flung his eyes open, replaying the words in his head he had heard. He thought it was a dream. A wonderful dream with a beautiful ending, with his love interest saying she loved him. Was he dreaming? Was it merely his mind playing tricks on him?

She snuggled closer to his chest and sighed a little. He looked down at her and smiled, wondering if what he heard correctly was indeed reality. He lay his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. If it was a dream, he was upset at waking so soon. He tried everything to fall asleep, but couldn't manage drifting back off. He noticed her breathing became slow and laid her gently on the pillow, kissed her forehead and moved away from the bed. He took the stairs two at a time and entered the kitchen. There was no way a nap was happening, not now. He grabbed a glass and poured himself some milk before taking a place at the bar and sipping it slowly.

He knew he would be leaving tomorrow night and wasn't sure if she would be alright by herself. The pills she had been taking scared him, but he fully understood why she was doing it. He couldn't image losing his parents and wasn't sure how he would have dealt with it.

_Would I have taken pills or some other drugs_, he asked himself.

It was an answer he didn't bother answering because the question alone was frightening. He shrugged the thoughts off and chugged the rest of his milk before placing his glass in the empty sink. He sank down onto the couch and flipped the TV on and settled on a local sports channel.

_Was it a dream_, he asked himself. His thoughts ran wild through his head as he tried focusing on the television set. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as the vision of Lexi appeared before him.

_Why does she have my thoughts this way_, he asked himself.

He was becoming more and more frustrated with every passing thought. He decided to turn the TV off and return to her bedroom to at least be next to her. He was battling with the feeling that he was fall harder for her than he ever thought was imaginable.

He climbed the stairs and reached her bedroom door, pushing it open silently as not to wake the sleeping beauty in bed. He crawled back into bed beside of her and wrapped his arms around her, careful not to disturb her sleeping state to much. She moaned a little and nuzzled instantly against his chest. He caressed her head gently and smiled. As if on cue, the thoughts he was thinking before suddenly disappeared as if he was addicted to a drug, only his drug was Lexi. He wasn't prepared for the words that flew from his mouth, as if his mouth had their own mind. It came from no where and without warning.

"I love you, too," he said gently upon her ear. He finally was relaxed for the first time in weeks and shut his eyes, finally able to get some sleep himself.

________________________________________________________________________________

She woke in a cold sweat, with the tears burning her eyes. She rose from the bed and stared at the clock. It was 7:00 and she knew exactly what she needed. She had had another bad dream about her parents and she knew she couldn't handle the pain under any circumstance now. She rushed into the bathroom where her second stash of drugs were located and grabbed ten of the intoxicating candies, as she came to call them, and slammed them down her throat.

The tears were coming faster and faster knowing Ken had gotten rid of her supply earlier. She was happy that she never told him about her second stash and smiled to herself. The guilt was ever present of hiding the secret from him, but the pain she felt was unbearable.

She washed her face and looked into the mirror. She had went to the doctor and he told her she needed to eat more because she had lost 12 pounds, something her small frail frame couldn't handle, especially under the pressure she was facing. She sat against the door and hugged her knees to her chest as she let the tears fall faster and faster. She knew Ken was still asleep so she had no worries of him waking up, since he had flown nearly 8 hours to see her and he was severely tired when he arrived at her doorstep earlier in the day.

She finally felt the dragging feeling take over her muscles and knew she was about to feel the pain subside. It lifted as if the weight was lifted from her shoulders. She exited the bathroom and was careful not to wake up Ken. She hadn't made dinner yet and she was starving. She decided to run to the local Chinese restaurant that was Ken's favorite and get some dinner for the pair. She wanted to surprise him.

_Maybe that will take some of this guilt away I'm feeling_, she thought.

She grabbed her keys and raced for the car as she pulled out of her driveway and onto the highway. It was only a 10 minute drive to the little Chinese diner, so she figured she would be back in enough time to set the dinner table and have the food ready for when he got up.

She turned the corner onto the side street she knew so well. She stared start ahead as the headlights grew brighter and brighter. Before she could shake the numbing feeling overcoming her body, she felt the car whip around with enough force that she felt her neck might snap off. Her entire body tensed as she felt the car flipping in mid-air and come crashing down on the pavement that sounded like a bullet train coming out of no where. She lay still in fear that something, anything may have been broken.

The last thing she remembers is the far off cry of a siren and her cell phone ringing from within her purse.


	8. A Smack In The Face

Her eyes flickered as she tried making the light adjust more in the room. There was a blur that flashed back and forth and she tried sitting up to find out what it was. As soon as she began sitting up, she felt the sharp pain in her side and screamed in agony.

"Lexi, just lay still. It's alright," came a voice. She still couldn't make anything out, as her vision was blurry. She looked around for the voice as she felt someone begin stroking her hair.

"Just lay back and I'll bring the doctor in," the voice came again. She laid back and tried to get as comfortable as possible, but the pain in her side, as well as the headache that was ever present and the throbbing in her legs were more than she could bare. The tears came out of nowhere, as she sobbed uncontrollably, waiting for the presence of someone familiar with her.

Her vision became more adjusted as she shifted her weight, laying on her one side to try and ease the pain that was building more and more inside.

"Miss Barrows," came another voice from behind her. She shifted her body again, this time more slowly to the direction of the voice.

"My name is Dr. Anderson. Do you remember anything from yesterday," he asked slowly.

"Yesterday," she said, finally finding her voice. She rubbed her head, as the headache throbbed against her skull and closed her eyes. "Should I?"

"Well, it seems you were brought in here after a horrible car accident involving yourself as well as 2 other cars. It's a miracle you're even awake now, but you have some internal injuries that you need to be aware of," Dr. Anderson said.

She said up as best she could and listened intently. The fear growing inside her from her situation was making her uneasy.

_I was in a car wreck_, she asked herself.

A thousand different question were filling her mind, which only made the headache that much worse. She finally focused more on what the doctor had told her and tried remembering what had happened.

"I honestly couldn't tell you what happened. But, what are these injuries," she asked, as the tears stung the back of her eyes.

"Well, you have 3 cracked ribs, a broken leg, a sever concussion, some internal bleeding that we were able to stop and a broken sternum. You were unconscious when you were brought in and you were out for somewhere around 32 hours. Do you know what day it is," he asked her.

"Um, Monday," she asked.

"No, Miss Barrows. It is early Wednesday morning. It about 3:00am," he replied, glaring at her.

Her mind raced to several different thoughts as her memory became more clear. She remembered going out after waking up to get some food for her and Ken. Ken!

"Where is Ken," she asked, sitting up a little. They pain shot through her entire body and she closed her eyes, wincing under it.

"You need to relax right now. We will be running some tests tomorrow morning on you to make sure everything is healing the way it should and to make sure the bleeding has stopped. Mr. Kennedy is outside in the waiting room. I'll make sure he comes in when I leave," he said, writing a few notes in her chart.

Her mind flashed back to the drive she took to get the food when she realized she had been driving her graduation present her parents had bought for her. The tears once again came without warning as she closed her eyes and laid back. It was then that she realized why she possibly had wrecked. She remembered taking the pills right before leaving. The guilt forming in her throat made her sick to her stomach. She rubbed her temples a little as she heard the doctor exit the room and then voices coming from the hall. She recognized one being Ken's.

_I wonder if they knew about them_, she thought to herself as her eyes popped open.

She prayed against everything that somehow, Ken wouldn't know that she had another stash after he took her other supply. The lump in her throat grew larger as the door flew open and the light from the hallway flashed on the silhouette of Ken.

"Lexi, you're awake," he said, running by her side. He embraced her quickly as she shuttered from the pain. A small groan escaped her lips as her hands instantly flew to her side.

"I'm sorry, baby. Are you alright," he asked, looking her up and down. Her face was badly bruised and cut, as if she had been in a bad bar brawl. Her small arms were black and blue and her hair was heavily matted from the blood loss she had suffered.

"Yeah, I think I'll live. I thought you had to be out of town tonight," she asked.

"Well, actually my flight out was a few hours ago, but I called Vince and explained the situation. He didn't want me leaving your side for anything," he said smiling.

"You're not in trouble are you," she asked, concern filling her eyes.

"No, baby, I'm not. But, you know, we need to talk, right," he said, as the anger filled his eyes. He never raised his voice or let it show in his voice, but the look in his eyes was sheer anger. And disappointment.

"Yeah, I know," she answered, looking downward and feeling defeated. She had a feeling he knew about the pills and didn't know how she was to explain this time. She had lied to him. She had betrayed him and for that she wasn't sure if he would ever trust her again.

"Why did you take more pills? Where were they when I flushed your others? And why in the hell did you think you could go out driving? Do you know how much narcotics was in your system," he asked rapidly.

"Do you want me to answer them one at a time," she asked, trying to lighten the situation. From the look in his eyes, she could tell he wasn't amused and wasn't his normal sarcastic-self.

"Alright. I had more stashed at the house. I didn't think it was going to be that bad if I drove. I've done it before and got to and from just fine. I honestly didn't think it would impair my driving or my head that bad. And no, I don't know how much was in my system, because the doctor never told me anything about it," she answered lightly.

"Well, let me supply you with a little information. You had enough pills in your system for a 10 day supply. 10 days! That could have killed you. Do you realize that? And with the whole lying to me thing. I don't even know where to start. I know if you don't quit this, I'm going to be forced to remove myself from your life for good unless I know you're clean for good," he answered smugly. The love he once held for her in his eyes was now gone, only replaced with the utter anger and disappointment he carried for the woman laying in the bed before him.

Tears welled her eyes once again as she dropped her head and cried silently.

"Ken I have no explanation for you and I don't even expect you to understand, but I'm tired of hurting. I went from a normal, happy 26 year-old soon to be college graduate to someone who lost her parents, a pill popping drug addict that doesn't know how to quit. Yes, the pain is the main reason why I take them, but I'm beginning to think I'm addicted to them. You don't know what I've been going through," she answered, anger raising within her own voice.

"That may be true but instead of trusting the one person you have left who has always been there for you, you decided to trust a substance that could have killed you. You know, thousands of people lose their parents and deal with it on a day to day basis. They don't do drugs, they face the music and accept it and move on with their lives. I'm not saying it isn't going to be tough but instead of hiding behind the pills and hiding your emotions, just let it out. Trust someone for God's sake. Lexi, I'm standing right in front of you pouring my heart out and I'm at my wits end because I for the first time don't know what to do," he said, shouting almost, as he began pacing the room.

"So, what are you saying," she asked, leaning up.

"I'm saying stop this shit or I'm gone," he answered, looking at her searching her eyes for the right answer. Instead, her eyes glassed over and a look fell upon her that he had never saw in her before and he would not soon forget.

"Ken, get out. If you can't be here for me and support my decisions, then I don't need you either. In case you forget, I'm a 26 year-old woman and I don't need no God damn babysitter. Thanks for the effort. I'm not a child and I don't need precautions for my every action. Get out," she said, fire in her eyes.

"Fine, but remember you made your decision. You made your bed, now lay in it," he said, as he slammed the hospital door behind him.

She lay in bed, staring at the door for a long time after he left. She half expected him to come barging through the door one more time, even if it was to say one last thing. That was the typical Ken. She had seen him pissed off before, but never at her. What was she going to do now that the last person on earth that was there for her, just walked out on her. She knew that it was her fault, but at the same time, she knew she stood her ground and she refused to be treated like a child. She sighed and rolled over to face the window.

The tears were still present in her eyes as she closed her eyes and went to sleep.


	9. Coming to Terms

She sat up as the doctor entered her room, holding a packet of papers. He slowly made his way to the nearby chair and took his seat. He looked over the first paper and handed it to Lexi.

"This is numbers for all the available clinics that specialize with your co-dependacy of pills. Here is a paper of all the available networks for centers that help people cope with losing loved ones and how to heal properly. And these are a list of your medications that you should take for your injuries. Against my better judgment, I see that you are in some internal pain, so I did prescribe you some low-grade pain medication. Please, take them as instructed and be safe," he said, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Thank you, doctor. I'll consider the information and I will take the pills as directed. Thank you for all your help," she said, almost robotically. She had been in the hospital for close to 2 weeks, without another appearance from Ken. She had realized he was definitely serious after he didn't show up the following day. She had felt extremely guilty for the way things were handled but she knew she couldn't go crawling back to him now. She had been right, or at least in her mind and if she were to give up, she felt that he would never take her seriously and he would want her to depend solely on him.

"Well, then. Sign here and you're free to leave," the doctor said, handing her a clip board and rising from the recliner. She looked over her discharge instructions and scribbled her name down as she handed the paper back to her physician. He tore the front copy off and handed her the back side as she slid out of the covers and rose to a sitting position. The cast on her leg made it almost impossible for her to move to much, but she would manage.

She had been feeling much better since she first arrived, but she knew she still had some recovery ahead of her. She was restricted to what work she could do, but she wasn't about to let that stop her. She knew her own limits and she knew what her body could handle before it was too late.

She grabbed her crutches and strolled into the bustling hallway and slowly walked down the long corridor to the elevator. The nurses station had called for a cab to get her, as she was under strict orders not to drive until her medication was completed and the cast was off her leg.

The taxi pulled up to the curb as the attending nurse helped her sit comfortably, or as comfortable as possible, into the cab. The nurse waved good-bye as she signaled the driver to head to the pharmacy for her prescriptions to be filled.

She arrived at the pharmacy and was able to hobble into the store somehow. She arrived at the counter and waited for her pills. She knew it was going to be hard to get off the pills, but at the same time, she was becoming more and more drawn to them. It had been nearly a month since her parents passing and she still felt the same pain as the moment she heard the news. She closed her eyes to shake the uneasy feeling overcoming her. She knew this was going to be an uphill battle and from the looks of things, it was one she was going to have to do herself.


	10. Even More

It had been 6 weeks and she still hadn't heard from Ken. Although she knew his reasoning, she held strong to her decision and figured he would accept her for who she was or nothing at all. She was upset about it, and her life had spiraled downhill because if all the added pressure and stress she was succumbing to.

She heard the familiar horn in her driveway and quickly slammed the nine pills into her system. She grabbed her coat and made her way to the car door as she opened it and told the driver where her doctor's office was.

The 10 minute drive was held in silence as she anticipated what her doctor would say about her leg. She was wanting more than anything to get the cast off and finally be back to normal, or as much as she possibly could be with all that had happened to her in the past 2 months. She had lost her parents, taken drugs to overcome the overwhelming pain, lost her best friend, took even more pills and now her life was sitting in the palm of her hand and she was letting the pills quickly take over it.

She arrived at the doctors office as she made her way inside and gave the receptionist her name. She took a seat and thought about the pills she had taken over the past 6 weeks. While she felt guilty for taking them in the manor she had, she knew there was no turning back now.

She had taken the pills her doctor had prescribed her within 2 days, the stash of Vicodin she had at her house was gone the next day and now she was on her third session of pills she had scored from Drew; all totaling 200 pills each. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but at the same time the physical and mental pain she felt was too much to bare at times. She knew she should have relied on Ken, but after he pushed himself from her, she had absolutely no where to turn. She wasn't about to admit she was wrong to him. They were both very proud people, and she couldn't wrap herself around the idea of herself being wrong either.

"Alexis, you can go on back," the skinny receptionist said from the window. She smiled at her and hobbled her way back to the empty room where her doctor was waiting.

"Nice to see you," he said, not looking up from his job at hand. He had just finished writing in her chart as he took the large plaster-cast saw out and laid it on the bed.

"Hop on up here and we'll get started to see how that leg has recovered," he said, motioning for her to sit. She took a seat where he had instructed as he went to work on her cast.

Within 10 minutes, she felt as if 20 pounds were taken off of her as the cast was finally removed and she looked down at her leg.

"Alright, let's see how well you can walk on that thing," he said, helping her from the bed. She put some weight on it and closed her eyes, expecting to feel the pain shot through her entire body. When she felt nothing, she opened her eyes and smiled lightly. She began taking a few steps forward and realized it was going better than she ever thought.

He had her walk around a few more moments as he wrote her out an appointment card for her next and last visit.

"This here is an appointment for 2 weeks. Were going to make sure the rest of your injuries as well as your leg is holding up the way it should and then, you can finally go back to normal. Now, I don't want you to push yourself too much, but I want you to work your leg as much as possible. You may drive now, but again, don't push yourself. If it hurts too much, return home," he said, removing his glasses.

"Alright, thank you. Thank you so much," she said, taking the small, square piece of paper. She exited the room and left the doctors office. She waited for her taxi to pull back in as she heard her cell phone ring. She looked at the unknown number and answered the phone.

"Hello," she said, uneasily.

"Where are you," said Drew from the other line.

"I'm about to return home. I had to get my cast off today. Why," she asked.

"Well, I had some more stuff for ya. Hurry up and get home," he said, laughing.

"Alright. My cab just pulled up so I'll be there soon," she said, hanging up and placing the phone back in her purse.

She paid the driver as she exited the cab and saw Drew waiting with his usual brown paper bag. She smiled and hurried to the door and opened the door.

"Here's your stuff. Price went up a little, but I paid it for ya," he answered.

"Alright, how much do I owe you," she asked.

"It's 250," he answered, smiling. She handed him the money as he smiled and walked out the door.

"I'll call you soon," she called after him as she shut the door.

She looked in the bag and smiled as she realized he was about to score her even more.

_Even more_, she thought to herself.

She knew it was never going to be enough, but getting even more was all she wanted for the time being.


	11. The Beginning of the End

She sat straight up in a cold sweat, her small frame trembling and the light from above shining down upon her. She licked her cracked lips and realized her mouth was dry and she was terribly parched. She saw the figure stand from the wooden chair in the corner and move towards her. As soon as the light hit his chiseled body, her breath was caught in her throat and she gasped.

"So, the princess awakens," he said.

"Wh-what are you doing here," she stammered.

"Well, against my better judgment after I got the call from the hospital that someone had found you inside your home passed out on the floor, I raced 1500 miles to see if you were okay," he said.

"Sorry to cramp your style," she shot back, laying against the pillow and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Cramp my style! Cramp my style? Let me tell you about cramping someone's style! I distanced myself from you in fear that you were killing yourself. You put yourself into a coma; a sedated coma as they call it. I take time off work and have been here the entire week and a half that you've been out of it. I've never left your side since you've been in here and you're cramping my style. Don't you know that shit is going to be the death of you," he asked, smirking at her. He through his hands into his hair in frustration and paced the room.

"Why don't you look at it from my point of view. I lose my parents and instead of relying on my best friend, I rely on pills because you up and leave me alone. And I'm cramping your style. You don't know what I've been through, Ken. You couldn't possibly. You left, remember," she shot back.

"Lexi, instead of relying on the pills, I wanted to help you but you made the idiotic decision to turn back to them instead of coming to me. I've missed you, yes and there was many times I wanted to pick up that phone to see how you were, but no. I had to prove to you that I was serious. Do you want to end up in the grave beside your parents," he asked, turning to face her.

"I don't know," she said softly.

"You don't know? What about us," he asked.

"What about us," she replied.

"So, then night you said I love you, you didn't mean it," he asked.

She thought about the night he was referring to. She remembered nuzzling against his warm chest and speaking those words from her heart. She hadn't been aware that he was awake or even that he had heard her for that matter. She continued to look at him in disbelief.

"So, what, you didn't mean that? Was it the pills talking," he asked, the hurt rising in his voice and his eyes becoming red from tears stinging his own eyes.

"No, I did mean it. I just wasn't aware that you had heard. Oh, Ken," she said, placing her head in her hands. "I've loved you for a long time - ever since high school. I'm just so, scared," she blurted out.

"That's what I'm here for, Lexi. I want to help you. Just let me help you, please," he said, grabbing her hand and sitting on the edge of the bed. He brought her to him and embraced her tightly, letting her cry on his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Ken," she said, through her tears.

"I'm sorry for leaving you. Look, we're going to get through this. We're going to sell your parents house, because that's not helping you deal with anything while you're still living there. We're going to put you through a treatment program and then you're coming on the road with me. I'm not leaving you for a second. I'll be there for you every step of the way - through your good times and when you feel like falling. I'm here, Lexi. Just open your eyes and realize that," he said, brushing her hair from her face and stroking the side of her cheek.

She looked up at him and and for the first time in months, she smiled.

"Thank you," she said in barely a whisper.

"Lexi, I love you," he said, bring his lips to hers. She brought her hands around her neck and found her fingers tangling in his hair. He deepened the kiss and heard her moan against his lips. He broke the form of endearment and brought his forehead to hers, smiling.

"I love you too, Ken," she replied, smiling back at him.

She knew she was going to be okay now. She didn't know what her life held for her after this, but she knew as long as Ken was by her side, she could do anything. Little did she know, her next battle would be a battle and story of epic proportions.


End file.
